Dealing With Emotional Pain

In life, we all undergo different intensity of pain.
Here, though, we are looking into the issue of emotional pain.

Sometimes it’s heart aching to even recall what has happened in the first place.
Very often, we forgot the initial incident, that one act that has brought upon this seemingly whole mess of things. We then continue to talk to ourselves, constantly reminding ourselves of the memory, and sometimes, sadly, getting angry/depressed/defensive all over again.

And oddly, we couldn’t go back time, yet all we could recall is the emotional intensity behind the particular issues.

What passed, has passed.

But which part of our psyche, our mind refuses to acknowledge this? Why would we continue to subject ourselves to further pain? Therefore some of us came up with various ways to deal with the pain.

1. Running away – and we thought this would work! Indeed, why not? If the pain came from the person, all we have to do is to run away! Yet, often we fail to acknowledge that the root of the trauma is not healed, therefore, the possibility of another “someone” who “acts” like the person may appear once again ( and again ).

2. Denial – also known as sticking my head in the sand. This approach came from an assumption that if I “forgot”, “pretend” to know this, then this issue will not exist. Unfortunately, we are much, much more than the small part of the mind that is “I”. And as long as the issue is not addressed, it will continue to resurface in every area of our lives. It is like a crack in the wall, which goes all to spread all where the bricks are (every area in our life is inevitably affected as they are interconnected to each other). Inevitably, it comes to a point where the whole wall cannot sustain itself.

3. Blame it on others – also a technique that others often used as well. it’s a terrible pain to know somehow we have a part to play and pointing the finger to someone else, takes that attention away from myself. It’s not a great approach – especially when it drives people away from you.

4. Dispense the energy on some other physical activities – particularly those that demands a lot of physical energy. Yup, I’ve sometimes even used it myself – except it does not particularly help at the exact moment when an unwitting colleague/bf/gf/relative/mother/father touched that raw spot.

Personally, I’ve done every single of them. I do not think there’s anything to blame, except that I’ve probably tried to deal with it, the best of I could, at that moment. In many instances, I’ve picked up several unhealthy habits to deal with the situations.

And many people address these as Programming, Karma, Deserving, Repaying Debt etc.

But many people forgot the obvious. The way to leading ourselves out of this “mess”, is always ourselves. We just need to give ourselves a chance to lead ourselves out of it.

That does not mean you “need” to “work” this out by yourself.

By that, I mean to say, give yourself a chance to listen to your own pleas, your body, your mind, your tiredness, your tears, your nightmare. Every one of those comes down to this simple plea – “I’m simply doing my best out of a situation. Help.”

And by granting yourself a chance, you will lead yourself out. You will meet people who share the experiences, healers in their own right, helpful souls who have encountered the same situation.

It will, however, depend on that first step you take.

With that one step, you grant yourself a key to experience the peace, happiness, joy. And yes, everyone deserves this.

May you be at peace, happy, be of joy and come to know your blessings.

Amen.

“Image courtesy of num_skyman/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.